Travel is near!

Y'all, I miss blogging.  My new job coupled with the adoption has just thrown me for a loop.  However, I do plan to blog when I can during our trip, so here is a new blog just for the trip:

http://redtigerbaby.blogspot.com/

Hope you'll follow along!

Prequel

In October, known at the time only to my 3 BFFs, we reviewed what's called a "shared" referral from our agency.  A shared referral goes out to families in process via an email.  And I suppose in retrospect that I didn't realize that there must be a reason for releasing a shared referral instead of it being the normal "matched" referral (i.e., the level of severity).  So what I read in an email was that a particular little girl had been born with a spinal tumor but had a successful operation.  Now would be a good time to note that we had NOT marked such a condition on our medical checklist.  But  I looked at that precious face and thought Maybe?  I sent the file to Dr. H, and she confirmed what I thought: she seemed healthy based on the limited information in the email.  So, we asked to review her information, as did several other families.  They gave us a deadline for a decision a few days out, and they sent us more detailed medical information which we sent on to the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham for review.  Before we ever heard back from IAC, another update was sent to us via email.  That one floored us.  When I look back I wonder how we could have been so confused, but I guess I just wasn't reading between the lines.  I spent those 2-3 days sick to my stomach with the process and my doubts.  After talking with Dr. C in Bham (in the parking lot of Buffalo Wild Wings on the phone), I came to the sad conclusion that we were not prepared to parent this precious girl and her ongoing needs.  My heart broke for her.  And oh the guilt!  The Bham doctor tried to make me feel better by telling me since she was so young that she would likely be matched with another family.  But between the guilt and the fear of the medical information, I spent the next two months practically twitching.

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I find it hard to believe that after all these years I'd never seen this poem. Bang on.

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

--Author unknown

I'm Alive...and Well

Dear Friends,

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.  The last 8 weeks at work have been so insane that I've just been a bit off kilter.  I have lots of tidbits to share with you, but today I'll stick to the most exciting ones.

Our last papers made it to the agency Tuesday!  
Our dossier was shipped TODAY to China!!!

As if that is not exciting enough, today is the 6th anniversary of Elliott's referral.  Wow, talk about a great day for the packet to go!

I am very anxious for us to get our Log In Date (LID) in China because then we will be eligible for a referral.  I'm tired of waiting! (said in my best cry baby voice)

If you don't really "get" me, then you won't realize how hard it was for me to go ahead and hang baby girl's stocking:

But I did...

Red Thread T-Shirts; Pre Sales Are Open!

We are so excited to announce that our Red Thread fundraiser t-shirts (2 styles) are now available for pre sale! We are selling them to help with the cost of our adoption and, just as importantly, to raise awareness for adoption!

If you feel so called, please share with your friends!  I can email you the PDF order form if interested and to distribute.

Thank you all for your support!

I am extremely thankful for the amazing help of Leigh-Ann, who has been vital in her leadership role!

Gordon Family Fundraiser! November 15 - Cold Stone Creamery

My new friend Meagan Gordon needs your help!  She needs you to eat ice cream! :)

They are having an awesome fundraiser at Cold Stone Creamery in Starkville on November 15 from 5-8 pm.  Read all about it here!

What a simple way you can help bring home their son Max from Ethiopia!

Dossier (nearly) Done!

After finishing the Turkey Trot Saturday, Vanessa, Madison, Elliott and I headed off to finish my dossier copies and assemble the package.  After Vanessa and I's assembly line package organization, it was off to the UPS store to spend $60 in order to get it to Oregon by Monday morning.  Was that crazy?  Yes it was.  However, that gave the agency all this week to review it.  Allow me to share some great news:

I just wanted to let you know that I was able to read and review your dossier ... Everything looks perfect! I prepared your dossier so that it is all set for shipment the moment I receive your certified and authenticated photocopy of your 797 approval notice. Well done! You have done a great job compiling your dossier. I look forward to shipping it on your behalf once I receive this final document.

As Dooce is famous for saying, I want to be the Valedictorian (or at least the Salutatorian, wink) of dossier preparation.  I think that this success, combined with last time, might just get me in the running! ;)

In all seriousness, my mailbox stalking will increase tenfold now.  That piece of paper is all that is standing in the way of us getting on that waiting list.  AAAHHH!  But I am so thankful that I do not have to redo any documents.  I pray when it reaches the CCCWA down the road that they too will think it's perfect.

I mean, look at all this hard work!

One more step complete...

 

November is National Adoption Awareness Month!

Friends, I have so many unwritten posts to share with you, including but not limited to:

• Turkey Trot 5k
• Dossier
• Red Thread Fundraising!

Keep checking back!

In Transit

I have been losing my mind waiting for the majority of our dossier to come back from the Embassy in Houston AND also waiting for USCIS approval, which, again, is the final piece of the dossier.  I have been plugging my dossier tracking number in over and over and over, and finally today it was good news!

Come on I-797!  

 

Note to Self

Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” 
(NIV)

Consulate Bound!

Our dossier is Houston, TX, bound for authentication today!  Hope to have it back in a week or two!

Hurry up immigration approval!!!  PLEASE!!!

Also, in all fairness, I would like to report that the UPS store gave me a really nice discount today to make up for the error that occurred yesterday (see below).  It's nice to see good customer service still in place somewhere!

Fundraisers

We are about THIS CLOSE to launching pre-sales for 2 t-shirts and then also for bracelets.  Get ready, info to be posted here soon!

Return to SENDER

My head almost exploded about 30 minutes ago.  I began to wonder why it was taking so long for our packet to come back with certifications from Jackson. Last time, I remember that the SoS is super fast at returning those.  So I tracked the package.  And lo and behold, my package has been sitting at the MSU UPS office since Monday...THREE BUSINESS DAYS MY PACKAGE HAS BEEN SITTING THERE.  Seems the clerk and/or computer put in the return address wrong.  Then they opened the package, but they didn't bother to call me (name and number clearly on cover page).  I very strongly let them know that they wasted three days of my time, and that every day counts.

Erica, I think my BP and HR might have matched Doug's just this once ;)

Right Now

 So, where are we right now in our journey? 

1. We were federally fingerprinted (aka had our biometrics taken) in Birmingham on Tuesday.*
2. The majority of our dossier left this morning on the first leg of its journey to the Secretary of State to get certified.

The manilla envelope that UPS sent it in looked so unofficial, disturbingly so.  Don't they know that weeks and weeks worth of paper chasing is in that envelope?  I felt like it should be decorated with markers and glitter and ribbon.  It needed a proper send off.

Ok, so what's in the envelope?
Our application letter to China, birth certificates, marriage certificate, letters of employment, medical forms (UGH), financial information, the home study, and police clearance.

Where is it headed?
The packet is headed to the Secretary of State's office first.  Each of those forms/letters was notarized here, and now the SoS has to attach a certification that verifies that the notary is legit.

Then what?
When the packet comes back from Jackson, I make copies of all the certification sheets.  Then it goes to the Chinese Embassy in Houston, TX, for authentication.  Yep, that's another piece of paper that gets added.  Then I make copies of those sheets.  THEN, I add passport copies, photos of us and our home, and letters of reference to the packet, and the entire packet then goes to the agency in Oregon.  The agency reviews it and holds it.

*Once the fingerprints are processed with our immigration application, we will receive the I-797 approval via mail.  This will be the final piece of the dossier.  But it too will have to be state certified and embassy authenticated.

When that piece of paper is sent to Oregon, and prayerfully crossing fingers that all documents pass muster, THEN AND ONLY THEN will the dossier go to China.  Shew! 

At that point I will turn my attention to two things: (1) working on her room and (2) FUNDRAISERS!  Get ready, we will need your help!

Many of you have done some calculating and have, probably accurately, come to the conclusion that our daughter has likely already been born.  I ask that you pray specifically for her health, that she is being well cared for, for her care givers, and for her adjustment when the time comes.  I also ask, very selfishly, that you not say to me, "How exciting!  She's (probably) already been born!"  It hurts my heart for every second that I am not with her.  And though, yes, down the road it will be exciting that she is probably close in age to babies in my life, right now all I hear is, "You are with your baby, and I am not."


When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start right now.
-When Harry Met Sally but as used in adoption context by Jillian Michaels

  

Positive Patty

So I promised you a more positive post.  Here goes.  What have I been up to other than paper chasing and real life?  Couponing and running! :)

Here is my teeny tiny stockpile.

 

I still have LOTS to learn about couponing and deals, but I'm already addicted to what I have accomplished.  I actually get all antsy on Sunday mornings to go get my deals!

As for running, Van and I have now been running for SEVEN MONTHS!  It was only at the very end of August that we ran 3.1 miles without stopping.  We've now done so a handful of times, so we just keep setting new goals for ourselves!  Our next 5k together is Saturday, Oct. 29 (Turkey Trot at MSU).  However, in a week I'm going to run my first solo 5k (while Elliott attempts his 1st 1 mile fun run!).  I am scared to death.

A few months ago someone asked me how I liked running.  And sometimes that answer is "I hate it."  But it's a very complicated relationship.  Well, lo and behold, Dooce summed it up perfectly: http://www.dooce.com/2011/09/20/its-going-so-well

And the choir says, "AMEN!"

Platter Up

Erica has grown fond of saying I have so much going on that I no longer have a plate, I have a PLATTER.  That seemed like the perfect transition into a pity party.

As I've been collecting dossier documents I've been sending them to the agency for review.  There is no reason on earth to get a document state certified and authenticated only to have your agency tell you there is something wrong with it.  HAVE EVERYTHING REVIEWED.  I mentioned just days ago that doctors' offices are by far the hardest people to get adoption paperwork from.  And I know they are busy, I get that.  But by gosh how hard is it to read directions?  If their staff is incapable of following simple directions, how am I to trust them with my health and records?  Just give that some thought while I explain how they are making this process difficult.

Prior to starting down this road again, neither Doug nor I had a primary care physician.  I have a GYN, and he has an endocrinologist.  If we get say, a sore throat, we see a nurse practitioner.  Well nurse practitioners can't do adoption paperwork.  So we found Doug a primary care physician.  And I was all set to say HE did everything right on Doug's checklist.  And then the agency told me that it's not adequate for the doctor to note that Doug's vision is 20/13, it must be noted CORRECTED (i.e., he wears glasses). 

Did you just notice that there is a VISION component to the medical checklist?  Wait, it gets better.

So my doctor, being as he is an OB/GYN, put "NE" (which I can only assume means "no exam") on my form.  That will not fly.  Why?  "... will need to see that you don't have any vision issues, since this directly relates to eligibility." 

Ok, so Doug also has to have a letter from his endocrinologist b/c of his RTA.  That letter is being reviewed now.  Even if that letter gets the seal of approval, that doctor doesn't have a notary on staff.  Neither does my doctor.  This is where I would like to insert a clip of myself having a Chevy Chase/Clark W. Griswold fit.

Sigh...

Stay tuned for a more positive post to come.  Hopefully.

Let's go fly a kite!

FINGERPRINTING APPOINTMENT LETTER RECEIVED!

GETTING INKED WATER FINGERPRINTED ON OCT 4!

Faith

Faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty. 

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. 

Faith is what gives you strength. 

Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

--Source Unknown

I'm THAT Student

The primary role I have at work is to communicate with distance students.  Obviously, since they are not local, I communicate with them via email and phone.  And there's always THAT student who has an unending list of questions.  In the adoption world, I'm THAT student :)

I email my dossier specialist approximately every three days with a new question or document to review.  Lucky her. 

So, what have I been up to?

Paper...paper...paper...paper...paper cuts...paper...paper...paper...paper...you get the idea.

It doesn't sound that hard, I'll give you that.  But when doctors' offices (the hardest people to get dossier documents from, I'm going on the record with that) cannot follow simple instructions, bleck.  We're still waiting on the fingerprinting appointment, so we're still quite a ways from the dossier being anywhere near complete [reminder: the approval from USCIS is the final document in the dossier, so it isn't complete until that is complete].  So, there is plenty of time to get documents corrected, but if you know me you know I have no patience, especially for people not following directions.