Travel is near!

Y'all, I miss blogging.  My new job coupled with the adoption has just thrown me for a loop.  However, I do plan to blog when I can during our trip, so here is a new blog just for the trip:

http://redtigerbaby.blogspot.com/

Hope you'll follow along!

A Mouse among Men?

We had a work retreat two years ago where we did the animal personality test.  There are four options: Eagle, Bison, Bear and Mouse.  I was not pleased with the result.  Can you guess which one I ended up?  The stinking mouse.

Here is the description of the "Human Temperament" of the Mouse:

Perceived as the black sheep with a slightly disreputable character (say what?), individuals ruled by the mouse are viewed as such due to their quiet ability to remain invisible yet resourceful and productive at the same time.  Competent in their own abilities and aware of their limitations, they maximize opportunity and end up dominating much to the surprise and chagrin of others.  They are bewildering and awe-inspiring in their talents to get out of the direst of situations in a manner that projects a sense of invincibility.  They are the giant killers; the underdogs taking down number one without anyone actually understanding how.  Humorous individuals who carry serious undertones, they rely on instinct and intuition rather than logic and rationality, and it often proves more reliable.  They do things their own way, finding a direct path to reach goals that are designed uniquely for them.  While seemingly small and vulnerable, they overcome fears easily, pushing forward, taking chances, and trusting in a higher guidance, even if that means knocking others off course.

I bolded items I agree with above.  Thoughts?

Turkey Trot'in

Once again, late but for posterity's sake


October 29, 2011 -- Time: 30:57 (we believe the new time is due to a last-minute, shortened route)

Fasting Failure

I am so disgusted.  I felt like I did a good job fasting yesterday, but I must admit defeat if Livestrong says I'm over my calories for the day, right?!?  Here's the rundown:

• Breakfast: Coffee only, but I have been making the mistake of using cinnamon creme powdered creamer at work...that cost me 100 calories :(
• Lunch: Progresso lentil soup (entire can b/c who in the world eats half a can of soup?) and celery with Jiff to Go
• Supper: Shrimp ramen noodles and carrots and grape tomatoes with ranch

I was starving when I went to bed, but maybe that was just mental...as disappointed as I am, I think at least this put a few things into perspective.

In other Lenten news, I did dishes last night as stated and went to Ash Wednesday service.  Tonight my goal is folding clothes in addition to dishes.  Baby steps...

Prequel

In October, known at the time only to my 3 BFFs, we reviewed what's called a "shared" referral from our agency.  A shared referral goes out to families in process via an email.  And I suppose in retrospect that I didn't realize that there must be a reason for releasing a shared referral instead of it being the normal "matched" referral (i.e., the level of severity).  So what I read in an email was that a particular little girl had been born with a spinal tumor but had a successful operation.  Now would be a good time to note that we had NOT marked such a condition on our medical checklist.  But  I looked at that precious face and thought Maybe?  I sent the file to Dr. H, and she confirmed what I thought: she seemed healthy based on the limited information in the email.  So, we asked to review her information, as did several other families.  They gave us a deadline for a decision a few days out, and they sent us more detailed medical information which we sent on to the International Adoption Clinic in Birmingham for review.  Before we ever heard back from IAC, another update was sent to us via email.  That one floored us.  When I look back I wonder how we could have been so confused, but I guess I just wasn't reading between the lines.  I spent those 2-3 days sick to my stomach with the process and my doubts.  After talking with Dr. C in Bham (in the parking lot of Buffalo Wild Wings on the phone), I came to the sad conclusion that we were not prepared to parent this precious girl and her ongoing needs.  My heart broke for her.  And oh the guilt!  The Bham doctor tried to make me feel better by telling me since she was so young that she would likely be matched with another family.  But between the guilt and the fear of the medical information, I spent the next two months practically twitching.

Striving to be better at life

Tomorrow kicks off Lent, and most people have been very curious as to what I will give up this year.  In years past I've given up chocolate (too many times to count), Dr. Pepper (ditto), and even cursing (sadly, more than once).  I've been thinking about what to give up since the first of the year.  And here is what I decided: sloth and gluttony.

As defined by Wikipedia:

Sloth is the neglect to take care of something that one should do. The modern view goes further, regarding laziness and indifference as the sin at the heart of the matter.

Gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste. In the Christian religions, it is considered a sin because of the excessive desire for food or its withholding from the needy.

Allow me to explain.  I find myself almost constantly wondering why I can't get the same things done that other people do.  Why is my house always a mess?  How does that person have time to do C & D when I can't even get A & B done?  These questions coincide with my extreme dislike of hearing people say, "I don't have time."  My first step on my road of self-enlightenment is that I choose to say, "I don't make the time/prioritize my time correctly."  Here are the things I know: I make time for TV, fiction reading, etc.  So my focus during Lent is to watch less TV, read no fiction, do more housework, spend more quality time with my family - pretty much not to overindulge in anything not productive.  I have established additional goals like (1) must do dishes every night and (2) must accomplish one additional task each night.

My goal is that these behaviors will become habits after Lent, and my focus in life will be sharpened.

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I find it hard to believe that after all these years I'd never seen this poem. Bang on.

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

--Author unknown

Kansas Thanksgiving: Day 4 - Black Friday and Day 5 - Homeward Bound

Elliott waited until Thursday night to have a meltdown about sleeping with the DVD player upstairs and insisted on sleeping on the loveseat downstairs.  That wouldn't be important if my mom hadn't been planning to sneak off to Target at midnight to buy my Kindle.  We didn't get much sleep, and the wee hours of Black Friday came even rougher because of it.  All 5 of us trudged to Manhattan (only 20 minutes away) to secure our deals.

We even managed our yearly visit with Santa while we were there!

Even with altering our sleep patterns, it made for some tired drivers starting home on Saturday. And I will never let my mother forget what a whiner she was. Granted, we drove the first 8 hours (non-stop, no joke) in the rain, but that doesn't call for being the worst rider in a car...beating out the 6 year old.

Kansas Thanksgiving: Day 3 - Turkey Day!

At the very end of our shopping trip at the Commissary, I finally found cornmeal.  I had two options, a huge sack or a container.  I opted for the container for convenience...

So, this was my first Thanksgiving to ever be in charge of the cooking.  On the menu:

• Turkey
• Dressing*
• Gravy
• Squash casserole
• Sweet potato casserole
• Black-eyed peas*
• Cranberry sauce
• Crescent rolls
• Pumpkin pie

I did the prep work on Wednesday night, making the work on Thursday not that stressful.  I say that, but then again I burned the peas.  Obviously peas were the easiest thing on the menu, but my multitasking got a little out of hand.  Also, I knew it was odd that my cornbread was very dense.  And dense cornbread leads to dense dressing.  It took days and discussion with my mother-in-law before I realized I had bought STRAIGHT cornmeal with no self-rising capability.  AHA!  All in all, though, my meal was a success.

The spread; Emi busted out the fancy plates!

We had a nice, quiet lunch followed by playground time and a walk with the dogs.

 

 

 l

Truth be told, next year I will probably long for a repeat of such a fantastic Turkey Day.