The Homestudy

You know the drums you always hear on movies before someone is executed? Imagine that sound when you read, HOMESTUDY. It is a source of great anxiety for adoption newbies. And rightly so. Most homestudies involve four meetings with a social worker: meeting as a couple, meeting with just the dad, meeting with just the mom, and then, the dreaded home visit. Oh yeah, and TONS of paperwork to fill out between meetings, such as writing your own biography and filling out a financial worth statement. The home visit is by far the scariest part to everyone I've ever talked to. To have someone come into your home and say whether or not it's "good enough" and safe enough for a child is overwhelming. And here is an area where I have never been successful in letting go of some of my anger. I know why it is necessary, but it feels really unfair. But there is no need dwelling on it, so I'll keep moving.

It's amazing the silly things we all do to prepare our houses for any event. Think about the extra preparations you may take for a birthday party or to host a jewelry party. It's like that amount of work but on crack. For instance, I bought new throw pillows for my couches and had the nursery woman at the Co-op fix my planters for the front porch. Yeah, because pillows and flowers make all the difference in a house, ha! Ok, so general information aside, here are the specifics.

We started working with our state homestudy agency before we contracted with our international agency. I guess I should stop and explain that your homestudy has to be conducted by a licensed social worker in your state, but you can use an international agency located anywhere in the country. Our social worker was located in Starkville, though she was contracting for the office in Jackson. Anyway, she was the sweetest lady and really put us at ease. We were always happy with her during the process. However, the higher ups in Jackson kept me stressed. To me, and yes I was overly emotionally for sure, they were very slow and very inefficient overall. At one point we actually had to make a call, through a friend, to the chief lady at the agency to get things moving. I probably needed a t-shirt to wear at all times that said, "You get in my way, I'll steamroll right over you."