I ran this title by Doug and my brother last night. Doug said, "Uh, I don't like it." Jeb said, "WHAT?!? What's wrong with the new house??" So I best explain. Our front yard is INFESTED with mushrooms. And they appear to be two different kinds: one kind is the traditional shape but gigantic, and the other ones are phallic shaped. Maybe that's why when I topped the hill yesterday and glanced at beloved house I recoiled in horror and herpes just popped into my mind...
DISCLAIMER: No, I have never seen herpes. I have never known anyone who had herpes (at least not anyone who advertised the fact). But for some reason, my mind, which is a fascinating place, equivalated the mushroom invasion with house herpes. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'd be glad to sign up for some free therapy.
...So anyway, I glance to my right, then to my left, then across the street, and then as far as my eye can see down the street. No mushrooms/house herpes in anyone else's yard. Just mine.
Doug is now in charge of investigating chemicals to take out the mushrooms. It's enough that we have mutant grasshoppers capable of scaring grown men, fascinating the dogs, and simultaneously horrifying and intriguing me. House herpes is just too much.
2 comments:
What about that frog that jumped into Holly's car that night when we left your house. Remember, we screamed, stopped the car, and I jumped out with holly shrieking "you're gonna have to get" and I said "why do I have to get it". All in front of the whitey thug hanging out by the curb.
I HAD FORGOTTEN! Thanks for the out loud chuckle at work...
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