Monday, February 16, 2009

I Wanna Be, I Wanna Be Like Jane...Fonda, That Is

So I began a new exercise campaign on Thursday, Jan. 22. I say this like it's a date worth remembering down through history. I hope it will be. It will be known as The Day Emily Decided To Get Off Her Fat Ass And Do Something About It Day, sponsored by Elizabeth. So spinning and yoga and softball have been attempted during this 3.5 week period. So far, no weight loss. Cue really bitchy look. Though I haven't been measuring, I cannot see with the naked eye any loss of inches. Cue continued bitchy look. But I have many motivational mentors urging me on. Oh, and really cute glittery smiley face stickers noting my progress on my work calendar...kudos to Sara for that idea.

So we're at spinning today -- during lunch no less -- and I realized that I have taken the 3 standard spinning hand positions and modified them into Emily's spinning hand positions:
  • Hand Position 1.5: Who needs good posture? Lean over and gasp for air.

  • Hand Position 2.5: Splay fingers out in an effort to distribute weight into every possible body part other than legs while standing.

  • Hand Position 2.75: While in hand position 2.5, continue to grasp handles like your life depends on it in an attempt to not sit your fat ass back down and look like a loser.

  • Hand Position 3.5: Take hands to center so that not only are elbows resting but you can shift a huge amount of weight while in squat position.

  • Hand Position 4: Take both middle fingers, raise them high into the air, and flip off devil instructor. I haven't yet tried this one, but I feel it's coming soon.
Oh, and due to the lunchtime spinning, I am no longer a Sanderson Center shower virgin. I have begun a really long list of needed items in order to come back to work not gross. But don't feel bad for me, fellow readers. There was a scrumptious Lean Pocket and sugar free pudding awaiting me when I returned. With water. Cry for me.

1 comment:

mkraiz said...

hello dorm showers! How have you been? I haven't missed you, so I'm not sorry I didn't keep in touch. baaaahahahahaha!!