I curse the stigma you have left on this world. Your perfect yet impossible body standards have left me scarred with the rejection of continually missing the mark. The fact that my feet are not permanently on toe to accommodate heels, that my waist is not 2" and my bust 32", that my hair is not blonde, I curse it all. You sit there in your Dream House, looking down upon me with your smug plastic face only to then drive away in your pink Corvette convertible, laughing maniacally. Later, you and Ken will be in your hot tub, he with his flesh-colored undies, pretending to sip your champagne and reveling in your superiority. I envy the fact that your man has plastic hair, thus you will never know the pain of having to deal with his bad haircut choices. You led me astray when you paraded around as Business Woman Barbie. Ha! I was not cut out for the corporate world and you knew that! But I will take my revenge in these facts:
- Skipper will forever be a teenager. Have fun with all that drama for infinity!
- The twins, they are never growing out of those diapers. The amount of poop in your life is 1,000,000-fold what mine has been.
- I once married you off to a Russian. Those scars are permanent.
2 comments:
weren't they supposed to come out with a more realistic figure for barbie? Maybe I'm thinking about France banning the too skinny models!
There was talk, but Barbie staged a protest and was successful in preventing the Barbara doll.
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