Fun at Work

Our love affair is on hold, but not forgotten. Unlucky for me, DP is the drink of choice for many of my coworkers.

My student is so awesome that she removes the label before bringing it into the office. We have decided that logo recognition plays greatly into my addiction. Isn't she precious!

While she was out for Spring Break, I brought in a tiny replacement.

How am I doing, Mami? Good thing this job pays in cheese crackers!

Take That, Ticker

So, I'm feeling a little ticked off at the ticker that was not moving, so I deleted it. Mature, I know. But it made me feel better! :)

Here are the things I've been doing well:

• No DP in 89 days ---> see self-made ticker
• Rarely drinking sweet tea and mostly drinking decaf unsweet tea
• Drinking 1 Diet Pepsi a day
• Eating lunch 4 out of 5 days at my desk (sandwiches, soup, salads, leftovers, etc.)
• Eating supper at home every week night
• Eating out 1/week for lunch and only 1/weekend (HUGE progress!)
• Gave up chocolate for Lent, so I've only had it on Sundays
• Drink the recommended amount of water...on weekdays
  

Areas I need to work on:

• Continue cutting sugar from my diet
• Cut my sodium intake
• STICK to my daily allotted calories
• Continue to cut back on processed food
• Continue to eat a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables
• Eat less carbs
• EXERCISE! EXERCISE! EXERCISE!

He has lined my path with so many blessings

The following is from my amazing friend Erica following my post on Friday:

Hey my love--
Just read your blog. I love you and I know that His timing is perfect! Just look at our boys-- God knew that they would be born 4 weeks apart. How cool is that? We could have never in a gazillion years planned that ourselves. Never. Others may think it's a coincidence, but I know in my heart He did that for us!
And I know that right now, right this very second as I am typing these words, that he is working on another beautiful soul to be born from your heart for you and Doug to love. He or she will have to be pretty special to be Elliott's baby sibling! I know it's said often, but the very best things in the world are always worth the wait! Don't get discouraged. God is listening to you.

See if you can Google and find the music video or can listen to the song "Can anybody hear me" by Meredith Andrews. She's a Christian singer. Love the song. It's been my mantra a lot lately...

I love you my sister of the heart. I hurt when you hurt... I cry when you cry. I love when you love. I rejoice, I pray. And above all I have faith!!

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God.

If there were an image of me doing adoption research, it would be of the Tasmanian Devil, who alternately is allowed to function at his normal speed (which of course is insanely fast and spastic) and then medicated to be calm. UP and DOWN. FAST and SLOW. SPASTIC and CALM.

I research, I get excited, I find a factor that prevents, I get upset, I research something else, my excitement builds again, I hit another let down, I notch up my upset level...are you picturing him? The Tasmanian Devil, that is. Can you see me as him? :)

And then I remember the above verse, and I make myself calm down. I give myself the pep talk that I've had internally millions of times: "It's God's plan and HIS timing. He will show you when it's time. BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. He made it 100% clear last time when HE was ready, and He will do so again this time when HE is ready. Be a good servant, pay off the debt, and wait for HIS direction."

Future Sculptor

Aw, it's our family!

UH OH.

Shew! A pattern emerges.

It takes a village.

Diversity!

All Hail Holly

This morning I found myself once again engaged in a conversation about which celebrity magazines are trustworthy. Which reminded me of the time Holly and I had this same conversation. For those of you who don't know her, let me introduce you.

This picture doesn't do her justice, but for some reason I can't find any other pics of her in my files (in fact, I ripped this one off Facebook, and it's not even mine!). She is a doctor and brilliant, but she also has an abundant knowledge of useless info, which is one of the many reasons I love her. Her mom has had a subscription to the National Enquirer for years. She is the only person I've ever met who actually subscribes to it. Now, I read the covers in line at the grocery store like everyone else, but a subscriber I am not. I am a (sadly former) People magazine subscriber. I can't afford it anymore, ha. So one day we got into a discussion about which "news" outlets could be trusted: the battle of National Enquirer vs. People. This is the same person who I once engaged in a conversation with about fried chicken for nearly 20 minutes. Kindred spirits are we. And there was also the time we drove 10 hours to South Carolina for my work conference, and we talked THE ENTIRE WAY THERE. After two more days together and a sprained ankle, we did have to rent an audio book for the way home. But we puntuated the breaks in chapters with lots of good, though maybe random, conversation.

I heart this tiny little blonde and all that she is. And I'm thankful for her friendship more than she will ever know.

Did I forget to mention that I will be featuring my friends and family from time to time on here? Live in fear of who's up next!

Picture Perfect

It has been so long since we've had good pictures of Elliott. The last few years he's been in the awful boy stage of making faces for pictures, so I just stopped taking him to have any made. Of course, we have the ones daycare does from that time period, so it's not like a total loss. But I thought maybe he had finally outgrown the nonsense, so I took him to Ashley Allen to have Easter pictures made. She is so great! Check out her site here: www.ashleyallenphoto.com

Shutterfly Birthday Celebration Contest

This picture is from Elliott's 2nd birthday; isn't he too cute for words!?!

Contest details

Searching for My Jillian Moment

I've spent a lot of time since watching Season 8 of The Biggest Loser searching for my Jillian moment. My breakthrough, if you will. Hoping and praying I can figure it out so I can make some progress. And I'm not the only one because I've had this same conversation with no less than 3 other people in the same time span. I can make a list of lots of SYMPTOMS, but I'm having a harder time finding the CAUSE. Here are some symptoms that I know run amok in me:

• Lazy
• Tired
• Stressed
• Put other priorities ahead of exercise
• Work a desk job
• Fear of failure
  

You get the idea. These symptoms helped me put the weight on, and they help me keep it on. But what about the question that haunts me: WHAT HAPPENED?

I think I have identified 3 major areas that, if they are not causes, then they are very close to the root. And if they are not, then I'll have to search even harder and longer. Here goes.

1. Work-related stress that consumes other aspects of life.
   I know, everyone is stressed from time to time. I get that. But I'm talking about pervasive stress that poisons the rest of life. For several years, I would leave a job that was disappointing and sometimes demeaning, and go home and just be a slug...every day. It sucked the life out of me. So not only did I sit all day, and get that stress hormone cortisol activated, but without hope for change, I just went into hibernation. Watch TV, read books, be sedentary, escape life.
   
   
2. Emotional sabotage.
   Sounds serious, huh? For nearly 11 years now and averaging once a week, I have attended lunches and suppers where the MIL has made food a weapon. "Why are you not eating (insert name of dish here)? Do you not like my dish? Is there something wrong with my dish? How about some dessert? Why not? How about a snack?" BUT then counteracting it with gifts of clothes that are ALWAYS A SIZE TOO SMALL and comments such as "Well, I HOPE what I bought you will fit." And then there was that time at a funeral after I had lost my Weight Watchers weight, and she made a big deal to my mom about how good I looked now that I had lost the weight. I can tell by the animosity in me as I type this that this is a serious contender.
   
   
3. The Infertility.
   I think this is the Big Mama (no pun intended). Still peeling back the layers on this one.

Someone sent me an email the other day that contained this awesome phrase:
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.

As I was about to type that maintaining a healthy weight post-(something) is what I haven't had, it just occurred to me that I could say during the adult years. Because really, the bad started with 20-21. So I had a healthy weight childhood, pre-teen and teenage years, and then I hit a major wall. That deserves more contemplation.

Class Clown

I have decided that weight and school have something in common. In school, if you make less than an A, your GPA takes a quick dive. But for every additional A you add back, it barely climbs back up. In weight, all the good steps I take toward being healthy take a very long time to equal into pounds lost on the scale. But lo and behold I have a bad day like yesterday (Zaxby's for lunch, cake for afternoon snack and Wendy's for supper), and watch out! The scale is a moving! In the wrong direction, of course.

TWO MONTHS! TWO ENTIRE MONTHS!

I've now been two months -- 59 days -- without my beloved Dr. Pepper. And yet again, the scale refuses to acknowledge my progress. Sigh.