Rollercoaster...of love *

I hope that title made you sing the Red Hot Chili Peppers song because I'm mentally jamming out to it.

I wonder if it's a coincidence that right after writing the first post I got a call to keep my cousin's baby overnight last weekend. And as Doug was out of town, I got a sneak peak into what having two small children will be like. And I was exhausted! But not enough to be dissuaded from our meeting on Monday. And I just wish I had a video of me talking, talking, talking and Doug just quietly sitting there. I let the case worker get a few words in, but mostly I talked. :)

But I felt so confirmed in this decision when we left [the agency] on Monday. Doug didn't have the crazy eyes UNTIL we were talking with the executive director on the way out. And I posed Doug's 2nd most asked question: "How long is the flight?" And when he responded "17 hours going, 13 coming home," I thought I might lose Doug. In fact, Doug's finest hour it was not when we took ONE STEP outside the door and he exclaimed, "HOLY S***!" Geez, Doug, could you remember where we are for heaven's sake???

All the way home I quizzed Doug, trying to make sure I wasn't setting off on a path he was not comfortable with. I hit him from every angle I could think of. And in taking this first step, I allowed myself for the first time in three [six] years to fully remember how hard this journey will be. And I cried. I'm sure it will be the first of many to come.

So, I think we are Nepal China baby bound! Paperwork, $, waiting...here we go again!

* Editor's note: This post was written 6-18-09. Some edits have been made above.  I recently repeated the quiz-Doug endeavor to assess his readiness.  Flight anxiety notwithstanding, he's a go!