Thursday, March 12, 2009

I Think This Calls for the Elephant Gun

Last night was not a good night for me and the checkbook. Or for the other members of my family who are subjected to Crazy Emily when my nerves are strung out. So I'm pacing the house debating my financial dilemma, and I'm noticing how bad I've let the house get. Dishes, clothes, stuff, mail, papers in general. I'm like one step away from losing it if I don't make some progress in all areas soon. And I realized, not for the first time, that all those problems as well as my weight problems through the years all come down to one common element: I AM A LAZY BITCH.

Is there a 12 step program for laziness? If not, could someone please develop one and commit me?! But I don't want some fu-fu name like Promises (alcohol rehab). I want a hard core, kick butt name like, "Lazy Bitches R Us" or something. Maybe they should let the mean lady Jillian from Biggest Loser be the director.

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